Where's this coming from?

So, Norah is sixteen months old now and it's sort of crazy to consider what that actually means. It's been almost a year and a half since she was born, and a few months over two years since we first found out that she was coming. The entirety of our life in New Hampshire has been consumed by the fact that we're our own family.

I honestly barely remember what it was like to not have a kid. I only kind of remember what it was like to have an infant. Sure, I remember certain days and things she did, but mostly it's all a blur. The only thing I really recall with much confidence about Norah being less than six months old is that it wasn't as overwhelming as I'd prepared for it to be. I think I've made the comment on here before that parenthood really is an intuitive thing. It's less about preparedness and more about simply applying what you already know. I can say that, of course, because I have parents who did a good job of doing their jobs.

Anyway.

And now Norah is sixteen months old and walks around like she owns the place. She knows most of her body parts and will point them out when asked. She knows to say "please" when asking for things, even if she can only say the first three letters of the word (and even then mispronounces the "e" -- "pluhhh"). She'll carry stuff over to the garbage if you ask her to and she flips her shit when she sees a bus ("buuuuuuh!!!") or a clock ("CAHK!!"). She's obsessed with belly buttons, which is pretty weird. But hey... I guess there's a lot about being a baby that's pretty weird.

Sometimes I wish I was still kid-free. But never really... 'Cause then I wouldn't have moments like this one:

And that's what I'm thinking about tonight. Norah's sick and so is Sarah, so I've sort of gone into caretaker mode. I guess when you're care-taking you're also thinking about the bigger picture of why it's important to be taking care at all. It's not just about doing, but realizing why you're doing. At this point in my life, I'm doing most everything that I am because of the fact that when I close the door behind me as I leave the apartment, I can hear Norah behind it saying "papa?" And I can't think of any greater motivation in life than to realize that my kid knows enough to call me "papa" and knows that it means something (even if she doesn't yet have the vocabulary to describe it).

It's pretty rad.